September 22

The Reign of Night

The Equinox comes twice a year as a day of balance. I loved the metaphor for life so much that I named my book series The Equal Night Trilogy. We see the balance in our outer world in the hours of the day but it’s true meaning is the balance within us, the balance of our light and dark self.

We resist our shadow, having been cultured to fear it. We have been raised as sinners and what is within should stay hidden. But that’s what those that are losing control desperately want to keep in check-our inner power. What is waiting for us is the enormity and infinite Divine within us.

People think I’m all bubblegum and rainbows but I’m a Scorpio! I’ve done a ton of internal shadow work and have had many many dark nights of the soul. And it’s only in my willingness to do that have I come out on the other side to: 1. Live to tell the tale, but also 2. Know my own magic and light.

I don’t run from pain anymore. Except maybe my bike. I step into the pain of life; it’s unavoidable these days. And something’s shifted, now when I feel it, it almost feels good-it feels real. It doesn’t scare me because I know I’m bigger than it. And that’s the gift.

If we are brave enough to face ourselves, something everyone must do at some point in their life, multiple times, we are rewarded with forgiveness of self and the wisdom that there was nothing to fear or forgive in the first place. Our wholeness waits in the shadow. As does Joy.

What is Shadow Work? How to do it?

It doesn’t have to be complicated. But it does take radical responsibility. When we blame others or outer circumstances for our pain, we are giving our power away. Taking full radical responsibility for all of your life experiences shows the Universe that you are willing to change. You are ready to grow out of box of misery you are currently in.

I’ve shed many a tear in my prayer chair. I’ve talked about my prayer chair and the importance of ritual many times and I go in depth on the process of connecting to the Divine in my mini course available here:

Explaining the process of shadow work is rather lengthy, too in depth for a blog post but I will offer the abbreviated version:

Set aside at least 20 minutes of uninterrupted time to sit quietly. Preferably in your prayer chair.

Come to the process with an open mind and with one question.

Ask your question out loud.

Breathe deeply and listen for the answer. Have a journal handy to write down any thoughts that come. And continue to write even if it doesn’t make sense. You need to jackhammer the rust on top of the buried pain and one of the fastest ways to do that is with free writing. All of the mindless to-dos will have nowhere to go but out, and you will be left with the tender truth longing for your attention. And it is tender and raw. It is your pain that you’ve refused to look at. You will cry and you will feel despair. You will feel all of the feelings you’ve refused for lifetimes.

You will then discover there is more…

The truth is an onion, with many layers. Once you’ve touched the layers of your pain, you will access something underneath that. It is the heart of your pure innocence. Under the pain and despair and worthlessness that is required to feel to heal, is the real Truth.

There is a perfect, shiny, luminous soul, a spark of Divinity within your heart patiently waiting for your discovery. And when you connect with that, a whole new world opens up and your view of yourself changes forever. Your Joy lives here.